This is a story from my hero about a trauma in her early childhood. Sandi Patty is a renowned soprano soloist who was sexually abused at the age of 6 years. She came to this situation from a happy, supportive family and returned to this family after the incident, one week later
Trauma:
Apart from and unable to contact the security of her parents.
Unable to protect herself from the adult whose care she was in.
The caregiver: an authority figure in good standing, a acquaintance of her parents.
Belief of this six year old:
Adults are always right.
If the caregiver is angry, it must be my fault.
This happened because I am a pretty little girl.
It is my fault, so I cannot tell my parents.
The only good part of this week long horror, was the milk and chocolate chip cookies even though they were given without positive emotion.
After this incident, Ms. Patty started going to food for safety and security and even in her adult life, stress sent her to the kitchen to bake chocolate chip cookies. After her divorce and she was sending her children off to visit their father, she experienced intense panic even though she knew their father would not harm them. She started having memories of this incident and after psychiatric counselling came to understand the damage this incident had done to her.
There was apparently a six year olds unconscious decision not to be beautiful because bad things happen to beautiful girls. Not to question authority due to her sense of powerlessness and a knowing that she was now unfit being damaged by this affront.
Ms. Patty realizes that the thoughts she had as a six year old were not wise in a grown woman's mind but that did not make them any less powerful and controlling.
To another country and another time: the 2-6 year old children devastated by the Japanese earthquake and tsunami of March 11, 2011.
Children in shelters who stayed covered up all day - unable to cope with this disaster to their lives. They are traumatized an even their innate optimism is overwhelmed with fear and inactivity (Lieberman & Knorr, 2007).
Their strong attachment partners (parents) may be missing adding to the insecurity and fear. Even if the parents are there, they were unable to fulfill their role as protector, breaking away at the child's security. (Leiberman, et al., 2007)
Children depend on emotions to read the sense of a situation. In this situation there would be intense sadness and loss. Also during this period their egocentricity causes thoughts of everything being their fault and there may be no one or no time to understand and alleviate these fears. (Lieberman, et al., 2007)
Solutions
Child-friendly spaces are being set up in the shelters. Play kits that bring something familiar and normal that the child can identify with, feel safe with and manipulate are being provided. (ECD News, 2011)
Communities are banding together, providing books, toys and teachers and mothers to be with the children. There has been special education give to early educators to best help these children(ECD News, 2010)
Spending time talking, allowing children to act out through play. (Lieberman, et. al., 2007)
A new semester started in April and the government made a priority to see that as many children as possible could be back into the normality and peer support of school. (Nakagawa, 2010)
Both of these situations, incredibly sad. One lay hidden for years and the other is known immediately and world wide. The first was shrouded in the naivete of years gone by that no person from my group would harm children and the other under the scrutiny of a global community armed with research and resources to support. All young children are vulnerable and need the entire world village to be mindful of them.
Sources
Asia-Pacific Regional Network for Early Childhood ( 2011) ECD News (Early Childhood Development News) Japan Demonstrates Strong Community Resilience for Young Children post-Disaster. http://www.arnec.net
Helping Children and Adolescents after the Earthquake and Tsunami in Japan, (March 18, 2011), Suggestions for parents/carers/homestay families. www.education.vic.gov.au
Lieberman, A. f., Knorr, K., (June, 2007), The Impact of Trauma: A Developmental Framework for Infancy and Early Childhood. Psychiatric Annals
National Child Traumatic Stress Network, (2011). Earthquakes http://www.nctsn.org
Patty, S. (2005). Broken on the Back Row, Nashville, TN.: Howard Publishing Co.
Patty, S. (2007). Falling Forward...into His arms of grace, Nashville, TN.:Thomas Nelson, Inc.
Patty, S. (2008). Layers, Nashville, TN.: Thomas Nelson, Inc
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Saturday, May 28, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
A few Observations on Breastfeeding
It seems that breastfeeding is pretty well-documented to increase the mother-child bond, guard against some childhood diseases, assist physical and cognitive development(Berger, 2009) and generally be the moral thing to do (Waggoner, 2011). WHO recommends breastfeeding, exclusively for six months (Bhatia, 2008). From experiences of friends and a few readings, I realize that this is practiced and understood in many different degrees around the world.
After the birth of her second child, a son, my friend felt she was not meeting the baby's needs adequately. She went to the Chinese doctor and was reprimanded for not eating enough and was not giving the baby sufficient nutrition. The diet subscribed seemed virtually impossible to achieve. She did not want to go this route and probably gain a great deal of weight in the process but she was concerned she was not able to meet her infant son's needs.
She contacted a Lactation Consultant who advertised in a publication for foreigners here in Beijing. A motherly Australian lady showed up at her door and absolutely put her mind at ease. She was clear that her body was designed to give her baby all he needed and that her milk would adjust to meet his changing needs. She also suggested that supplementing with formula (imported) would not make her a bad mother.
In countries where the benefits of breastfeeding have been widely proclaimed, there may be a pressure put on mothers to do something that is not their wish, or that emotionally they are unable to deal with from their own history or because of their only state of physical wellness would not be in the best interest of the child (Waggoner, 2011). This imposing of what is thought to be right can bring negative consequences to the mother, child and the family. There was an interesting study in Liberia (Parrot, 2008) where missionaries brought Western medical information into a culture that was functioning well under cultural beliefs. These beliefs were scientifically wrong i.e. semen poisons breast milk, but the society was operating well. The mothers breastfed their boys for 4 years and their girls for 3. This spaced the children, kept the birth rate down and helped for the developing of healthy children. When the fallacy of their belief was introduced, only to the boys because the girls were not afforded secondary education, the women were forced to have sexual intercourse more often. Because they were not aware of the new information they were drastically torn between pleasing their husband and keeping their children safe. As a result they stopped breastfeeding earlier.
Breastfeeding here in China is in an interesting place just now. Historically, breastfeeding has been practiced and still is regarded as the thing to do. Foreign friends have shared stories of getting a 'thumbs up' when seen breastfeeding by the older women, for example.In the 1970's substitutes became available and were advertised as being a superior nutritional source o breast milk (Bhatia, 2008). Rates of breastfeeding families declined.This same article shows that even though the government has banned the promotion of formula in the hospitals, it apparently is still going on. Also the companies are not to claim that their product is better than breast milk, but that also is also apparently still going on.
However, the contaminated milk scandals that have shook this country over the past months (Bhatia, 2008) have caused mothers to reconsider going through the pain and perseverance of breastfeeding. There is another concern about young mothers who are migrant workers. The government here provides a 3 month maternity leave and an additional month where the mother gets an hour out of the work day to breast feed. This is not long enough to meet the 6 month recommended period, but it is a step in the right direction. However, migrant workers would not carry that kind of employer support. Therefore they are for financial reasons forced to put their babies on formula and because they are poor use the cheapest form which is the one that has been contaminated.
How do I pull this together. I do believe that women should have the right to choose what they want to do with their own bodies. If they are forced to breastfeed against their wishes, that surely would not be beneficial to anyone. The mothers with HIV in some countries where clean water is unavailable put their child at a higher risk of water- born diseases than in transmitting HIV.
I do think education that is accessible to everyone should be the consideration. Secondly, a support system that allows the mother to make an informed decision that is best for both her and her baby, like the Lactation consultants, or public health nurses. For my purposes, coming in contact with many different cultures, listen and support where I can.
Sources
Berger, K.S. (2009). The Developing Person Through Childhood (5th ed.) New York, NY: Worth Publishers.
Bhatia, J., (2008, September 24), China: Infant Scandal Highlights Decline in Breastfeeding. In Children,China, Chinese, East Asia, English, Feature, Food, Gender, Health, Weblog,press
Parrot, A., (2008). Impact of Culture on Lactation Policies: The Case of United States and Liberia. Marriage & Family Review Vol. 44 (2/3) 200-213 doi: 10.1080/014920802177436
Waggoner, M. R.,(2011, Spring) Monitoring milk and Motherhood: Lactation consultants and the Dilemmas of Breastfeeding Advocacy. International Journal of Sociology of the Family Vol. 37 (1) 153-171
Xu, F., Binns, C., Zheng, S., Wang, Y., Zhao, Y., & Lee, A., (2007)Determinants of exclusive breastfeeding duration in Xinjiang, PR China. Asia Pac J Clin Nutr. 16 (2) 316-321
After the birth of her second child, a son, my friend felt she was not meeting the baby's needs adequately. She went to the Chinese doctor and was reprimanded for not eating enough and was not giving the baby sufficient nutrition. The diet subscribed seemed virtually impossible to achieve. She did not want to go this route and probably gain a great deal of weight in the process but she was concerned she was not able to meet her infant son's needs.
She contacted a Lactation Consultant who advertised in a publication for foreigners here in Beijing. A motherly Australian lady showed up at her door and absolutely put her mind at ease. She was clear that her body was designed to give her baby all he needed and that her milk would adjust to meet his changing needs. She also suggested that supplementing with formula (imported) would not make her a bad mother.
In countries where the benefits of breastfeeding have been widely proclaimed, there may be a pressure put on mothers to do something that is not their wish, or that emotionally they are unable to deal with from their own history or because of their only state of physical wellness would not be in the best interest of the child (Waggoner, 2011). This imposing of what is thought to be right can bring negative consequences to the mother, child and the family. There was an interesting study in Liberia (Parrot, 2008) where missionaries brought Western medical information into a culture that was functioning well under cultural beliefs. These beliefs were scientifically wrong i.e. semen poisons breast milk, but the society was operating well. The mothers breastfed their boys for 4 years and their girls for 3. This spaced the children, kept the birth rate down and helped for the developing of healthy children. When the fallacy of their belief was introduced, only to the boys because the girls were not afforded secondary education, the women were forced to have sexual intercourse more often. Because they were not aware of the new information they were drastically torn between pleasing their husband and keeping their children safe. As a result they stopped breastfeeding earlier.
Breastfeeding here in China is in an interesting place just now. Historically, breastfeeding has been practiced and still is regarded as the thing to do. Foreign friends have shared stories of getting a 'thumbs up' when seen breastfeeding by the older women, for example.In the 1970's substitutes became available and were advertised as being a superior nutritional source o breast milk (Bhatia, 2008). Rates of breastfeeding families declined.This same article shows that even though the government has banned the promotion of formula in the hospitals, it apparently is still going on. Also the companies are not to claim that their product is better than breast milk, but that also is also apparently still going on.
However, the contaminated milk scandals that have shook this country over the past months (Bhatia, 2008) have caused mothers to reconsider going through the pain and perseverance of breastfeeding. There is another concern about young mothers who are migrant workers. The government here provides a 3 month maternity leave and an additional month where the mother gets an hour out of the work day to breast feed. This is not long enough to meet the 6 month recommended period, but it is a step in the right direction. However, migrant workers would not carry that kind of employer support. Therefore they are for financial reasons forced to put their babies on formula and because they are poor use the cheapest form which is the one that has been contaminated.
How do I pull this together. I do believe that women should have the right to choose what they want to do with their own bodies. If they are forced to breastfeed against their wishes, that surely would not be beneficial to anyone. The mothers with HIV in some countries where clean water is unavailable put their child at a higher risk of water- born diseases than in transmitting HIV.
I do think education that is accessible to everyone should be the consideration. Secondly, a support system that allows the mother to make an informed decision that is best for both her and her baby, like the Lactation consultants, or public health nurses. For my purposes, coming in contact with many different cultures, listen and support where I can.
Sources
Berger, K.S. (2009). The Developing Person Through Childhood (5th ed.) New York, NY: Worth Publishers.
Bhatia, J., (2008, September 24), China: Infant Scandal Highlights Decline in Breastfeeding. In Children,China, Chinese, East Asia, English, Feature, Food, Gender, Health, Weblog,press
Parrot, A., (2008). Impact of Culture on Lactation Policies: The Case of United States and Liberia. Marriage & Family Review Vol. 44 (2/3) 200-213 doi: 10.1080/014920802177436
Waggoner, M. R.,(2011, Spring) Monitoring milk and Motherhood: Lactation consultants and the Dilemmas of Breastfeeding Advocacy. International Journal of Sociology of the Family Vol. 37 (1) 153-171
Xu, F., Binns, C., Zheng, S., Wang, Y., Zhao, Y., & Lee, A., (2007)Determinants of exclusive breastfeeding duration in Xinjiang, PR China. Asia Pac J Clin Nutr. 16 (2) 316-321
Friday, May 6, 2011
Some Birthing Observations
I feel at a substantial loss here. Other than my own birth, 57 years ago, I have not been present at a birthing experience. I am Canadian and our family's General Practitioner took my mother through the entire experience. As far as I know there were no financial issues which I know is the case now and there were family and neighbors to give support and aid. I was the third child and after a couple of weeks was left in the home of a practical nurse while my family went on a two- month trip to England. It seems all went without problems.
A Foreigner in Beijing
Now they had to make the decision of where to have the baby. They did not have insurance and so the decision had to be based on what they could afford. They chose a package from an international hospital in the city. It does not have a neonatal intensive care or blood bank in case of complications. These could be accessed in case of emergencies. Her care was in Chinese. She was satisfied with the prenatal care and the classes that she was obligated to attend. The early morning delivery brought a few uncomfortable issues. She was reprimanded for making too much noise. She had asked not to have an epidural but was given it against her very forceful wishes and during the last stages of delivery, was forced to lie flat on her back.This prolonged the delivery but without any damage. We have asked our Chinese colleagues about this and have come to think that this was an anomaly and not common practice.
A Few Observations
I have a colleague who is an English speaking foreigner here and having an unplanned pregnancy. The financial issue was a bigger one for her as is the language. She has chosen a package where her doctor and the nurses do not speak English and she must rely on a translator and more importantly on her availability. As with many expectant mothers here, she has taken responsibility for this by building a support system; consulting the internet, with its many helpful sites asking advice of many mothers.
Not having family around may be an issue in some instances but because there is a large international community here and access to many Mommy groups, exercise classes, spas and TCM(traditional Chinese medicine) services, all pretty affordable, many opt to stay here to have their baby. In some instances, going home could mean their mate would have to stay here for work. The website of the American-Sino OB/GYN Hospital provides a glossary of terms related to child birth in Mandarin, Pinyin(alphabetized translation of Mandarin characters) and English to help the mother in communicating.
Ayi's are widely used here. These ladies have their own ideas about babies and foreigners are cautioned to make certain their Ayi, if they choose to have one,, is familiar with and able to provide the care they want for their baby. (Ho,2008)
While we were talking some others joined the conversation and brought up the issue of going to Hong Kong to have your baby. The costs are much higher so would not be accessible to everyone but the advantages for the child as far as travel and position would be helpful. This of course further enforces the socioeconomic gap and may raise political issues in the future.
It is worthy of note that free medical childbirth care is only available to residents of Beijing. Even though care facilities in other places may not have the level of care that is available here it may be financial impossible for people to access this care.
It seems to me that the birthing process is a natural phenomenon that proceeds very well with minimal necessity of intervention. The attitudes of the mom and the significant people in her life seems to be the difference in providing a welcoming and nurturing environment for this new young life where he can go about the developing he was designed to do and flourish in the process.
Sources
American-Sino OB/GYN Hospital (Beijing), (August 4, 2009), www.havingababyinChina.com
Beijing Today (April 8, 2011) HK eager to keep out expecting mothers. http://www.beiingtoday.com.cn
Expat Corner, (2009) Sticker Shock: The Cost of giving birth in China http://www.echinacities.com/expat-corner
Ho, Eileen, (2008) Special Deliveries, Insider's Guide to Beijing, www.immersionguides.com
A Foreigner in Beijing
Compare the situation of close friend whose second child was born six months ago. She is from Wales, where hospital care is free.She is married to a mainland Chinese and speaks fluent Mandarin. She has lived in China for 12 years, the last eight of those in Beijing. Her first born, a daughter ,was planned and so my friend had purchased extra insurance for the year. She chose one of the best international hospitals and the 20% she had to pay up front was sizable but at that point doable. She had a foreign doctor and a private suite so her husband could stay with her during the entire procedure and after. I visited her just over 12 hours after the birth and the family was relaxed and the room full of smiles and laughter.
At that time she did not choose the Chinese practice of staying inside and warm for the first month and keeping the baby secluded for the first four months. In fact, she was back to work after 6 weeks. She is the Principal of three Montessori Kindergarten campuses. She took her baby girl out all the time, much to the alarm of the people in the apartment complex.
Five years later, she is pregnant again. This time it is not planned and in fact, she had a high fever for three days before knowing he was coming. There was much early concern. The last blood test to ensure there was no complication came after the safe date for abortion. She and her husband had long soulful and tearful talks about what to do. Their joint conclusion was that the making of life was out of their hands, and they would not take the action of ending what they could not make. The day after that decision was made, there was a noticeable relaxing in her demeanor.
The new baby was in the room with her and they came home after the third day.
This family is known for its hearty laughter, inclusive love and positive attitude. Despite the somewhat difficult behavior in the birthing room, she swaddled this little boy and surrounded him with security and lovely family moments. She adhered to the one- month confinement more this time and she feels they are all perhaps more relaxed because of it.
A Few Observations
I have a colleague who is an English speaking foreigner here and having an unplanned pregnancy. The financial issue was a bigger one for her as is the language. She has chosen a package where her doctor and the nurses do not speak English and she must rely on a translator and more importantly on her availability. As with many expectant mothers here, she has taken responsibility for this by building a support system; consulting the internet, with its many helpful sites asking advice of many mothers.
Not having family around may be an issue in some instances but because there is a large international community here and access to many Mommy groups, exercise classes, spas and TCM(traditional Chinese medicine) services, all pretty affordable, many opt to stay here to have their baby. In some instances, going home could mean their mate would have to stay here for work. The website of the American-Sino OB/GYN Hospital provides a glossary of terms related to child birth in Mandarin, Pinyin(alphabetized translation of Mandarin characters) and English to help the mother in communicating.
Ayi's are widely used here. These ladies have their own ideas about babies and foreigners are cautioned to make certain their Ayi, if they choose to have one,, is familiar with and able to provide the care they want for their baby. (Ho,2008)
There is a great deal of advice offered by older women which is built in to the culture. It may be a little difficult to handle. Even Chinese mothers have told me it is difficult to know whatis the best thing to doin trying to keep everyone happy.
A Native of Beijing
A Native of Beijing
Finally, I would like to look at a Beijing lady's birthing experience. Because she is a Beijing resident, all her hospital expenses are paid. She is in a room with one other person and everything happens there. After the child is born they are moved to another room where Mom and baby are together, with a cot beside the bed. It is possible for her husband to be present but it is not yet a widely accepted practice. Due to space restrictions, family members are also discouraged from being in the room. The lady I interviewed said it was nice to have a roommate to chat with about the experience but it was not restful. Her delivery was without complication so she was released the following day.
During the prenatal experience, she sought TCM care and received her injections in an outpatient facility. These had to be paid for but the price is not formidable
It is common practice for the mother to eat the placenta here and apparently in many areas of the world. It is thought to help milk production, aid the uterus' reduction, guard against bleeding and generally to aid recovery. (American-Sino OB/GYN Hospital, Beijing, 2009)
My colleague observed the one month confinement and kept her son in for four months. She stayed in contact with her friends and her mother-in-law moved in to help and would continue after she came back to work.
The processes that are unique to this culture, give support and parameters to the new mother and her family. My colleague studied abroad and brought back some Western ideas that were cause for discussion but in her case, compromises were reached.
It is worthy of note that free medical childbirth care is only available to residents of Beijing. Even though care facilities in other places may not have the level of care that is available here it may be financial impossible for people to access this care.
It seems to me that the birthing process is a natural phenomenon that proceeds very well with minimal necessity of intervention. The attitudes of the mom and the significant people in her life seems to be the difference in providing a welcoming and nurturing environment for this new young life where he can go about the developing he was designed to do and flourish in the process.
Sources
American-Sino OB/GYN Hospital (Beijing), (August 4, 2009), www.havingababyinChina.com
Beijing Today (April 8, 2011) HK eager to keep out expecting mothers. http://www.beiingtoday.com.cn
Expat Corner, (2009) Sticker Shock: The Cost of giving birth in China http://www.echinacities.com/expat-corner
Ho, Eileen, (2008) Special Deliveries, Insider's Guide to Beijing, www.immersionguides.com
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