In the introduction of their book, So Sexy So Soon, Levin and Kilbourne (2009 ) address the reality of increased exposure in early childhood to sexual vocabulary and behavior. They point out that it is largely media driven and has more to do with "consuming than connecting" (Levin & Kilbourne,2009, p. 5). I agree with the concern expressed for the retrieval of a time in a child's life when they should be free to investigate in a developmentally appropriate way. Rather they are forced to deal with issues before they are ready. The sad result is that their ideas become narrow and rigid and are not easily informed with factual information(Levin & Kilbourne, 2009).
My young 7 year old friend has recently asked her mother about babies and the sexual act. She was satisfied with the idea of friendship, love, marriage then babies. However, she pointed out that a friend re-arranged these steps. The fact that it is best to do something so important with someone you know and love very well seemed to make sense to her on that day. Hopefully this honest answer will cause her to come back to her mother when other questions surface.
In department stores, the pink/princess clothing seems to be up front and center. It is difficult to find clothing for little girls that is useful for exploration and investigation. This seems to say to the girl that you are only an object of beauty and your mission is beauty and desirability (Lee, 2008). As Levin and Kilbourne (2009) warn these sort of messages divide the gender roles even farther apart and deny the girl the chance to explore all that may be available to her.
Being aware of this onslaught I wonder if it were counteracted with healthy activities and space for climbing, jumping, roller blading/ wiggle boarding/ skate boarding, running and the like there would be less time for this kind of exploration. I do believe that screen time should be monitored and limited in early childhood. The fact is active and social play is usually the preferred choice unless there is a state of inertia in front of a screen.
I wonder also at the aura of fear that is put around the student/teacher bond. A 5 year old boy came to us from a country where teachers were not permitted to touch the children a couple of years ago. Our teachers do not have these sort of restrictions or suspicion as yet. We are still free to touch/hug children in appropriate ways. I can imagine it is abused. But it does not come into our thinking most of the time. Other than saying there must be two teachers with the children at any time, it is not spoken of. This child went home with stories of sexual abuse by his teacher. We immediately sent him to a clinic connected to our school to see a pediatrician. She was suspect of the story and saw no physical evidence. Then started a series of meetings involving the teacher, child, principal and parents and multiple calls to a child psychologist also connected to our school. The end result was the teacher had asked him to push his chair in and when he started to walk away, she touched his shoulder to direct him to the chair. In his anger at her, he made up this story. He used terminology that shocked us and that was not brought up in the class because honestly the rest of the children had not been exposed to it. We were all saddened by this because, understandably the teacher was cautious around him and we listened and watched his interactions with the other children very closely. The time that could have been spent running, climbing, discovering his new friends in Beijing was muddied with this pre-occupation. He came near the end of the school year and was off to Primary school and we did not succeed in successfully getting him 'in' to the school with friends and freedom of choice.
I am not saying abstinence. Children are inquisitive and need answers that meet them at their level of understanding. They need to be aware of human anatomy and have correct terminology. Many are having siblings or see women who are pregnant so a factual explanation that satisfies their curiosity without overwhelming is necessary.
A 5 year old Kuwaiti girl in the Primary class is pre-occupied with her wardrobe and hair and often spends most of her work time arranging her one of these or looking in the mirror. More worrisome is her refusing lunch because she does not want to get fat. This is all a part of the freedom of choice that should be available in early childhood.
Children are curious and need to have answers to their inquiries. However, they need to be answers that they can work with - simple and concrete. As much as is possible they need to be protected from having to cope with complexities of relationships and spend their time in developmentally appropriate activities.
Emotions and connectedness are huge issues in life. We spend most of our life span trying to get a handle on them. Seems to me the longer a child has to explore and work through healthy relationships within his family, teachers and peers the better equipped he will be to navigate his way through later complexities
References
Levin, D. E., & Kilbourne, J. (2009). [Introduction]. So sexy so soon: The new sexualized childhood and what parents can do to protect their kids (pp. 1-8). New York: Ballantine Books. Retrieved from: http://dianeelevin.com/sosexysosoon/introduction.pdf
Lee, L. (2008). Understanding gender through Disney’s marriages: A study of young Korean immigrant girls. Early Childhood Education Journal, 36(1), 11-18. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database.
Bobbie,
ReplyDeleteIt amazes me what children know about these days, but you can easily see where they are getting it, most of the time. We had a mother who was trying to accused someone at our daycare touching her son. She would talk about it in front of my whole preschool class and even trying to get the children to play, they still paid attention. When everything was said and done, the boy had problems because he missed his mom. If he complained that his private area hurt then she would rush on over and he got to see her. For this, it was a call out for help, and it could have been for the five year old boy that you talked about as well. Thanks for sharing!